1/12/24 Yes I remember once back in high school there was an opening for a tight-end as I was interested in playing football during the fall of 83 and so I applied why not. So the coach had try-outs in August one day so I did my very best cause I wanted to make the team something to be proud of you know. So after the try-outs my coach came up to me and said, Chris Chris Chris I don't think tight-end would be a good position for you. So as the coach started walking away from me, he turned around and said you know you would probably make a better loose-end. So it took me a while to figure it out and said to myself hey there are no loose-ends in football thanks coach....lol  

4/19/24. I remember once I was at the beach years ago and I had my binoculars with me...lol and I was looking around at the sky and I saw this object getting closer and closer and then realized it was a blimp. So I said in a loud voice to my friends, wow look at that blimp over there and then I noticed quite a few over weight people looked right at me...lol Opps!

4/21/24. I remember once years ago there was this beautiful girl that lived across the street from me and she was smiling showing her teeth and I always thought she was smiling at me until a friend told me oh her oh well she's just getting use to her new braces....lol 

6/10/24. There are two types of friends. The friend who will be a friend but only when it's convenient for them and the other friend who will always be there for you no matter what. 

6/25/24. I remember once back in high school there was a kid that wanted to fight me. I remember going into the lunchroom and he was sitting down at the table and he said Clark let's fight. So we decided to fight in the old gym that evening. But he said there's one condition we fight with the lights off. So I said okay why not that might be kind of fun. So when I got there, the room was very dark and he said let's go being already in there before me and then the next thing punches started swinging, legs started kicking and finally we both had enough but I think I got the worse of it knowing he had won. And then he said okay let's put the lights on so I can find my wheelchair.   

7/26/24. Someone said to me once, I do so much moving around, reaching for this and that in my car before I leave the parking lot. I look like a pilot getting ready for take-off...lol 

7/26/24. Someone told me once that they had a friend that had cancer on his face. And I said where on his face and he said he got it on his nose. And I said his nose and he said yes his nose cause it was the closest to the sun! 

8/4/24. You know when you've been in retail too long when you start asking people in other stores if they need help!

8/5/24. I remember once at the doctors I needed some serious drugs for my ailment. So he prescribed some medication for me to take. And he looked at me and said Chris you might notice a little shrinkage going on. So I said ok that's fine. So a week later I came back to the doctors and I mentioned that I took a measurement of my height and said I'm still the same height as I was before. And he said oh I wasn't talking about your height and I said you weren't?

10/23/24. Whenever I was pushed into a fight and we're going back say to my Junior and High school years, I always used the QPARLH system and it always worked! So what does that mean? Well It means Quick Punch and Run Like Hell. And of course don't look back...lol 

10/25/24. I remember once I got into this fight after school and believe me it was a bad one. I had cuts, scrapes and bruises all over my body and finally I said I had enough. So I just walked away from it all and yelled back okay enough Mary you win! 

10/25/24. Once a friend asked me if I'm into any sports and I said yes and he said what kind of sports and I said shadow boxing and he said oh that's great, how's it going and I said I don't know, but I have a bunch of bruises though.

11/14/24. I met this girl once and I told her I don't like to argue, but if you like, I can always throw in an argument every now and then!

11/16/24. I got so much JUNK in my trailer (everything is all over the place). So, when I find something like a cable(s) or power cable(s), I'm always asking myself this question what does this go to? It's okay you can laugh I do, though this could be a serious situation...lol

11/18/24. What did one pole say to the other pole? What's keeping you up...lol

11/26/24. I remember talking to this person once and he told me he had this awful pain on his side and I said gee that's too bad. Have you taken anything for this pain and he said yes medication and it's working good hardly no pain and I said that's great! And I told him I had this pain on my side for the longest time and he said how did you get rid of the pain medication and I said no, I just told her good bye...lol

11/27/24. I hate to travel in a plane long distances all in one trip as I had to travel from the West coast all the way to the East coast. So I asked the pilot if we can stop at every state...lol

11/27/24. I remember once I had to take my car to the carwash and on the way there I accidentally hit a water buffalo. So I said to myself, well I guess I don't need one now...lol

12/8/24. I remember once I decided to go to this theme park and when I got there early in the morning hours, I was the only one there and I said to myself this is great I'm the first person here until I found out the park was closed for repair...lol

12/9/24. I remember once someone said to me, oh you got a haircut and I said no, I'm just losing my hair...lol

12/10/24. I was never really a hands-on type of guy until I met this girl...lol

1/9/25. I remember once working in retail and there was this attractive young lady, and she asked me if I could give her a hand and I said sure, I'll be happy to give you two hands!

1/12/25.    I got this email this morning like so many of us do and it said "Christian -

We’re willing to bet that when you woke up this morning, your first thought wasn’t that you’d be making your first online contribution to XXXXXXXXX". Which is very true, my first thought was to head to the bathroom right away!

1/14/25. I remember once I dated this girl, and she said "oh you're all done? And I said no, I haven't even started yet! And I know what you're thinking, but it was all about her leaky faucet. 

1/14/25. I remember once I told my friends that every now and then I can rip a good one! And they said, oh that's gross! And I said no no no, I mean rip a good joke hello!

1/17/25. You know how sometimes someone will say, gee you look like you lost your best friend! And I'd say no, I lost my 6 pack!

1/17/25. There was this guy who went to go see his doctor. So, he walks into his office and says doctor, doctor I have this problem and the doctor says what, what's your problem? And he says I have a pain in my ass. So, the doctor says okay let's take a look and after a few minutes the doctor says huh I don't see anything out of the ordinary. But doctor, and the doctor says your fine. So, the guy says alright I'm going to get a second opinion. So, the guy goes to see another doctor and says doctor, doctor please help me, I have a pain in my ass and the doctor says, let's take a look and after a few minutes the doctor says gee I don't see anything you look fine to me. And the guy says but the pain is still there, and the doctor says well what can I do, I have to see something in order to cure it. So, the guy says, I need to get a third opinion. So, the guy goes to a third doctor and says doctor, doctor please help me the other doctors told me they see nothing, but this pain is real. So, the doctor says okay let's take a look. And then that doctor says those other doctors were right because I don't see anything either. So, the doctor asked just exactly when did this pain start and he said as soon as I got married about a month ago!

1/20/25. If you want to look skinny, then hang around with fat people!

1/24/25. I remember once years ago when I was a young boy, I had an erector set (we know where this is going) and I had lots of fun with it creating this and that and I would spend hours with it. Well to my surprise I was looking online, and I noticed that this one place had erector sets for sale, and I didn't even think any places carried them well they do but not the one I had, but then I noticed in small red print on the box it said for men 80 and older. I guess that's definitely not the erector set I had!!